I turn 60 today. All I’ve wanted for the last 5 years is to work on PeopleCount full time, with a competent partner. We could have it launched in 6 months.
I’ve tried tons of other things, including working on it alone, paying for offshore people and teams, paying for remote help nearby. They don’t work.
I keep slipping into the depths of depression. Unlike most people, the truth for me is that “reality” is an illusion. So the depression, the hopelessness, the attraction of death are all illusions. They’re not as easy to let go of as switching off a TV, but they’re still illusions.
And of course, I keep hauling my ass into work and plugging my brain into projects that promise to make much, much less difference. I keep paying my bills and doing chores and pretend like my little life and family and possessions and job matter. It’s all illusion…
People tell me to “enjoy a drink”, “take your family out for dinner”. Please stop. I don’t give a rats ass about those things. I want to stay healthy mainly to work on PeopleCount, but also to avoid suffering. Other than that, I don’t care what I eat. I don’t want to sit and chat about trivial crap and pretend that I care about your petty concerns. I easily care about them, but only at the expense of the future.
Compared to the future PeopleCount offers us, the future we’re drifting into is shit.
“I” have all sorts of petty concerns. So many people have made me promises and not kept them. So many people have replied to my letters and requests with silence. Why? For a host of tiny, personal reasons, the echoes of stupid non-thoughts, irresponsible notions that cross their minds and control their actions.
People guard their money, their connections, their time as if they’re doing something worthwhile with it. The result is the world you see around you. Enjoy.
At times I want to say: If you give a damn about me, read my blog, put your email address on PeopleCount’s announcement list, add a supportive comment on the Facebook page, and make a donation.
But I don’t care about me. Do those things if you care about your life, the lives of others, the future of the next generations, or if you give a damn about the planet.
You’re welcome to do it for any reason you want. For instance, if you want me not to think you’re a complete idiot. That’s the reality I live in these years. People are stupid and blind, preoccupied with their own survival and their petty concerns.
A few of you are not. Of my 685 “friends” on Facebook and the 1004 connections on LinkedIn, about 6 have donated to PeopleCount and about a dozen seem to supportive.
I’ve written about 370 blog entries. The people who care about me read them. I’ll bet fewer than a dozen people have read more than one. I could put it into more dramatic terms, but fuck that. I’m not interested in entertaining you with drama.
Currently, our political mess is the result of a system of politics where the parties compete for power. PeopleCount is a system that will make politics be a system in which we design our future together. We CAN solve our problems. We CAN reverse climate change and build a prosperous and healthy world. But the chances of accomplishing it without PeopleCount are very, very slim. With PeopleCount, it’s virtually guaranteed.